Diploma of VetMFVoo

Examination paper

Name of candidate ...................................................................

Date ........................................................

Answer all questions by indicating the letter which in your opinion corresponds to the most correct answer.

1.  Voodoo medicine can only do good, never harm, because:
A. Magical medicine is all like that
B. We simply redefine "harm" ("aggravation" or "healing crisis")
C. There is no legislation requiring us to report and collate any adverse events
D. We can claim anything we like and who's to stop us?

2.  Although voodoo medicine reliably cures patients, it stops working whenever it it is tested in a controlled trial because:
A. Magic practitioners deliberately sabotage the test
B. The medicine gets all shy and nervous and stops working
C. The practitioners get all shy and nervous and can't do it when someone is watching them
D. It never worked in the first place

3.  Airport security scanners have what effect on voodoo images?
A. They become inactive
B. They become stronger
C. No effect at all
D. All of the above

4.  If a personalised image is stored in a box with other images, what happens?
A. No effect at all
B. The personalised image loses its personalisation
C. All images become personalised
D. Random images become personalised

5.  We know voodoo medicine is effective because:
A. Lots of people believe that it is
B. Some people have believed that it is for a very long time
C. People all over the world believe that it is
D. It is stunningly successful in repeated, blind trials

6.  Voodoo medicine is better than conventional medicine because:
A. It is cheaper
B. It treats the whole patient, rather than just the disease
C. It corrects the underlying cause of the problem rather than just suppressing the symptoms
D. It is natural, holistic, gentle, deep, long-lasting, organic, GM-free, yadda, yadda, yadda....

7.  The patient sometimes recovers even before the voodoo charm is completed because:
A. It's magic
B. It's quantum
C. It's all because of the intent of the practitioner
D. Sometimes coincidental recovery is a bit hasty, even for our liking

8.  Voodoo treatment may sometimes take years to complete because:
A. Coincidental recovery can't always be relied on
B. In complex cases the correct manipulation may not be identified at the first consultation
C. While the effect is gentle and deep and long-lasting, I didn't promise quick
D. There's a sucker born every minute

9.  The most appropriate testing method for voodoo medicine is:
A. The voodoo practitioner asks the owner to agree that the patient seems a little better
B. Every voodoo practitioner contributes his most dramatic coincidental recovery to a series of case reports
C. Strictly-blinded, randomised, placebo-controlled studies sufficiently large to generate adequate statistical power
D. A series of small, poorly-controlled trials, and if we do 20 or so, we're bound to find at least one that comes out p<0.05

10. I am willing to have my name listed on the "members" page of the BVVS web site.
A. Yes
B. No

Email entries are acceptable to the examiners, and should be submitted to Morag_Kerr@CompuServe.com.  Any format is permissible so long as the intent of the candidate is clear.  Alternatively, the examination paper may be printed out and completed by hand, then sent to Morag Kerr, 6 Corfe Close, Southwater, Horsham, West Sussex, RH13 9XL.

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